Poetry By Chuck

Subtitle

 

The shame all run off when the cattle all died.
That morning the last piece of bacon was fried.
Before I got discouraged and Betsy got mad,
and the dog drooped his tail and looked wonderously sad.

A nother' red morn' on this old cattle drive.
The wind is a blowin' the stink from this side.
The axle busted on the wagon today,
and there ain't a tree in this land of clay.

The baby's a comin' and the sun's in her eyes.
Heck! I think there's more than one.
Now thats a sure enough surprise!
Before I got discouraged and Betsy got mad,
and the dog drooped his tail and looked wonderously sad.

We're out of water and the sun is nearby.
Our cows run out of milk and the chicken has died.
Shadows is scarce, coyotes are howling goodbye.
I wonder if we will ever get there, "I cried!"

"Go West!" "Young man!" Everyone seems to have said.
I'll go west says I and spit in yer eye.
Before I got discouraged and Betsy got mad,
and the dog drooped his tail and looked wonderously sad.

Injuns and trouble won't keep me in bed.
For when I get there, theres gold to be had,
and now that I'm here there's just one thing to be said,
"I wish I'd a headed for Australia instead!"

The shame all run off when the cattle all died.
That morning the last piece of bacon was fried.
Before I got discouraged and Betsy got mad,
and the dog drooped his tail and looked wonderously sad.


 

 

 

Comments by Poets

TivioAngel on Dec 18, 2003, 11:57 
this is me...deal with it 715 critiques, 64 poems. said:
Funny write. Very stereotypical look at the whole cowboy idea. Sounds like it'd make a decent country song. I liked it~~Mandy  

FadedtoBlack on Dec 18, 2003, 5:24 p.m. 
[I wish that I was good enough...] 623 critiques, 143 poems. said:
Heheh, that was funny. Yeah, I agree with that person *points above*...it would make a cool country song...A funny one. Heehee, yeah. I love the line about the dog!! Lol...


xXx [Rach] xXx
 A-SHRUB   

Click Here on Dec 19, 2003, 5:06 p.m. 
You Never Heard Such Talk!!! 654 critiques, 141 poems. said:
Verdict: Fantastic.
It was wonderful. It gives Zane Grey a run for his money. Totally entertaining. Reminds me of watching Wagon Train as a child. Very frontier. Louis L'Amour could not have done better.  

 genielassie on Dec 29, 2003, 9:26 
What is the weight of a solitary word? 5316 critiques, 10 poems. said:
LOL...this is great, Very funny and entertaining with a super flow and rhyme as well...You've done an excellent job in balancing humor with the form of thepoem and the liquid way it is read...EXCELLENT...keep penning! best of wishes...~genielassie~  

marebel on Dec 30, 2003, 2:13 
112 critiques, 118 poems. said:
I wanted to say Yipee Tie Ya tie Yo!Never read a poem with a Wild West flavor before.Keep on mooing!I love the Wild West movies so thanx for a taste!  

Frosted Dreams on Dec 30, 2003, 2:19 
2 critiques, 2 poems. said:
Great poem......Loved It !!!! Very well done.  

Kosetsu on Dec 30, 2003, 3:40 
Love is everything in the eyes of a hero 88 critiques, 0 poems. said:
Verdict: GREAT
It's a great poem about when the depression was going on and people went West for work (the farmers at least). It appears that way to me, anyway. Great image you presented and an EXCELLENT flow. I really did enjoy this peace, and the speech and tone of it all.  

 Runawaytrain on Dec 30, 2003, 5:04 
I think I can, I think I can- choo choo 3183 critiques, 58 poems. said:
LMAO!

Did you ever see Quigley Down Under? Where Tom Selleck plays a western cowboy that goes to Australia for a job? That was what popped in my head when I read the line about Australia.

The rest of it is written very well. Kind of the unromantic side of the Old West.  

emvyar on Dec 30, 2003, 5:37 
395 critiques, 167 poems. said:
Nicely woven piece of work. It's a wonderful work. Makes us relate to Betsy's wrath and respect the hard life of the early days...
 

 PurpleSky on Dec 30, 2003, 6:58 
This is a no B.S zone! please adhere to the rule! 5075 critiques, 283 poems. said:
This was wonderously amusing and your poem flowed so well. Your quit the writer you are but I hope that betsy is not still mad and the dog still sad. Thanks for the smiles they are much appreciated. He, he, ha, ha ,ho oops Im not santa! have a great day.   

uncookedrat8 on Dec 30, 2003, 7:18 
1093 critiques, 0 poems. said:
Great, very nice write about heading out west, Cute. Take care, Lissa  

 Chuck Johnson on Dec 30, 2003, 10:25 p.m. 
Just fade away. 567 critiques, 147 poems. Currently online. said:
My favorite movie...how interesting that you grasped it! lol.. Thanks!!  

Cactus Matt on Dec 31, 2003 
toeing the line between art and obscenity 222 critiques, 28 poems. said:
Great poem. I didn't make the "Quigley" connection until I read the other review, but it makes sense. I also think it would make a good country song...but a REAL country song. Just a beat up old bastard with an accoustic guitar. None of this Garth Brooks crap. Funny poem, though. Thanks for featuring it. I'm gonna go look at your other stuff now.

Angel of death gigi on Jan 06, 2004, 1:57 p.m. 
to be 46 critiques, 22 poems. said:
wonderful peice of work! BRAVO

 agazeley on Feb 07, 2004, 7:29 p.m. 
Be Deserving 1183 critiques, 451 poems. Currently online. said:
Verdict: Great piece of thought
A great poem - but unlike some of our AP friends (above) I couldn’t see anything funny or amusing - I suppose that is because I’ve been through similar situations when laughter couldn’t be further from my mind - A great write. . .Albert

mightiemouse on Mar 07, 2004, 1:38 p.m. 
live everyday for what it's worth 77 critiques, 38 poems. said:
Verdict: good write
wow...very "cowboy-esque" i liked the feeling i got from it...it made quite happy actully...well keep writing  

JustBubba on Mar 15, 2004, 12:53 
Eat drink and be Merry unless your name is TOM said:
Love the dusty feel and the frustrating barrenness of this piece, As I drive across the west Texas desert I have often thought about the extordinary hardships those early settlers have experienced. Great write.

Gingerandhoney on Mar 19, 2004, 11:03 
Incurable Idealist ! 1320 critiques, 46 poems. said:
Verdict: good read
It would appear that only the dog had sense. lol I like this poem very much.  

AmberFire45 on Jul 20, 2004, 9:47 p.m. 
In the light of the moon I feel alive 263 critiques, 43 poems. said:
Verdict: nice
This was wonderusly funny. Very good piece! -Amber-  

cc on Jul 20, 2004, 9:50 p.m. 
the dog controls my mind 527 critiques, 196 poems. said:
the refrain kept me thinking of the song using-"but the cat was cool and he did'nt say a mumblin word"maybe you did'nt mean it to but it made me smile

Tiphanie on Jul 20, 2004, 10:04 p.m. 
You cant catch me i be the gingerbread man 200 critiques, 30 poems. said:
Verdict: Absoulutely LOVED IT!
funny. i like the repition of the lines:

Before I got discouraged and Betsy got mad,
and the dog drooped his tail and looked wonderously sad

The best....keep up the great work  

surerbad on Jul 20, 2004, 10:04 p.m. 
Erotica: The Hotter The Better 533 critiques, 22 poems. said:
Verdict: Bravo
Wow!!! Depending on how other read it, it could be humorous or sad. I really liked it. Great writing techique, flows together perfect and the rhyming was great as well. I have friends that live in texas and yes this has happened somewhat to them as well. I can feel for all that this happened to. I really hope this didn't happen to you. Your a wonderful writer and I will be looking forward to reading more of your work. Thank you for sharing  

friendofsinners on Jul 20, 2004, 10:06 p.m. 
all roses have thorns, except the rose of christ 373 critiques, 52 poems. said:
Verdict: 8/10
this was my first humor poem i have read so... it is the best i have read so far i liked the humor and the word choice... i hope you keep writing and i wish only the best... keep it up... i give you an 8/10

"stay in the light"
love ya,
micheal
--friendofsinners--  

miamigirl on Sep 15, 2004, 2:19 p.m. 
717 critiques, 33 poems. said:
A whimsical write. I guess you aren't too far off what it must have been like heading out west during the gold rush. I have never ventured west and hope to someday. A fun read.  

 BonBon on Sep 29, 2004, 8:29 
Write on... Aim for the stars.. And eat chocolate. 387 critiques, 65 poems. said:
Silly me decided to tackle a book. So far it is a very short, short story. But it is about the year of 1850. I been doing a lot of research and this reminds me of some of hardships the people had to live.
Good one Sir.
BonBon

 Midnight Lace on Feb 01, 2005, 11:52 p.m. 
I Am Woman....Unbreakable 3852 critiques, 149 poems. said:
LOL...I thought this was rather cute. Good job and keep up the good work  

 Touchof1der on Aug 10, 2005, 12:02 
Seduce my mind and you can have my body 16136 critiques, 257 poems. (moderator) said:
  This is so darn cute!! I don't know how I ever missed this before. You always add such a unique flair and touch of class to whatever you pen. I really enjoy reading your words. they have always been a source of great pleasure. Good luck in the contest. 
¢¾ Kimberly  

Pome on Jan 17, 12:11 
Seek Truth. (Maybe It will meet you halfway.). 769 critiques, 95 poems. said:
Definitely a chuckler, Chuck.. Thanks for entering the contest. Good Luck -Pome

 

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